No matter how amazing we are as individuals, we aren’t going far in this life on our own. All the studies say the same thing: a key to happy, healthy aging is having strong social ties. Loneliness is actually a health risk—it promotes heart disease, depression and cognitive decline. Having close relationships and a sense of belonging to a community creates an environment where you feel supported, engaged and valued.
I adore my hunky husband, amazing kids and extended family. But now that I’m a 60 year-old empty nester, I’m struck by how much I value the close women friends in my life. What the hell would I do without my girlfriends? My friends lift me up, support me and generally make life more fun. They also keep me accountable, inspire me and expand my world.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who share your values and goals, because the people you hang around definitely impact you. My friends influence me in so many positive ways. Krafty makes me want to take better care of myself and be a kinder person, Tricia motivates me to be more entrepreneurial and adventurous, Berit’s fabulous sense of style inspires me to dress better and Laura gets so much accomplished, always with enviable flair!
It’s gratifying to belong to a group of likeminded women as well. My tennis team provides great competition and so much more. These women are athletic, committed, fierce, fair and funny. We celebrate our victories, birthdays and new grandbabies. We support each other through disappointing matches, sports injuries and tough times. It’s wonderful to know we are literally cheering for each other—on and off the court.
However, sometimes we may feel like our friendship well has run a little dry. This is a time of life when we’re often in flux—moving, retiring, shifting priorities—and some of our friendships may get lost in the shuffle. Covid was very tough on relationships; it was easy to get disconnected. If this is you, don’t despair, because it’s never too late to make new friends.
In a recent interview in the New York Times, Dr. Marissa Franco, author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends, gives this advice:
- Put yourself out there, making friends doesn’t just happen organically.
- Go into new situations assuming people like you—and they will.
- Join something that meets regularly, like a professional development group instead of going to a networking event, or a book club instead of a lecture. Friendships need time to develop.
- Let your existing friends know they matter to you. The top quality people want in a friendship is to be liked and valued.
- Reach out to friends you haven’t been in touch with and set up a time reconnect.
This completes my 5-part series on how you can Feel Fully Fabulous, right now, especially about your age. The links to parts 1-4 are below. If you like this type of content, you can sign up with your email address at right or below and you’ll be notified of new posts in your inbox. Or follow me on Facebook or Instagram or just check back here!
Fully Fabulous 
I agree wholeheartedly with the need and benefits of connection and friendship. It makes all of our worlds brighter and healthier. I had not thought about our friendship wells shifting with our time of life but you are correct. You are firmly in my well – and my chief motivator. I like the reminder to continue to fill the friendship well with interesting, fun and inspiring new friends too.
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Thank you Tricia. You make my life better, dear friend! Here’s a few more decades of friendship.
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Couldn’t agree more! Watching my MIL’s friends rally around her the last two weeks has been wonderful to see.
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This is so true Patty. I think we rely more on our girlfriends as we grow older. My mother cherishes all her besties too. Now get down here and spend some time in the sunshine with me.
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Awwww! What a sweet article and so true!
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Needed to give you a shout out my friend!
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