Revisiting the Bikini Wax at Age 62

“Things can get a little spicy,” said my technician Jessica as she prepared the hot wax. Since it had been a long time since my last professional hair removal appointment, I had forgotten what an understatement that was.

In 2009, when I was 45, I wrote a blog post titled “Confessions of a Prude” where I expressed my aversion to three edgy practices that had gone mainstream: tattoos, thongs and Brazilian waxes. Since that time, I’ve refrained from engaging in all three. Then, a few weeks ago, inspired by an upcoming trip to Greece with my husband, I spontaneously decided to get a bikini wax. The experience was quite a revelation.

It’s not that I’ve been opposed to grooming my furry flower. I just embraced other methods that I could handle conveniently and painlessly at home. But the trip to Greece was a big occasion—a pre-celebration of my husband’s upcoming retirement. It called for something special and I knew he would love it. So I booked myself an appointment.

Wait—before I get into this—do you all get regular waxes? I suddenly feel so archaic—like I’m Laura Ingalls Wilder about to describe how to make microwave popcorn. This isn’t something my pals have been openly discussing lately. I did a little research and the best figure I can come up with are that in 2016, 62% of women removed all their pubic hair, either by shaving or waxing, and most took care of it at home. I have no idea how these stats stand up almost 10 years later. As a service to women who may be as clueless as I’ve been, I’m going to go ahead and share how my defuzzing went down.

The Waxing Experience

1. There are options. Jessica sweetly asked me what treatment I wanted – a bikini wax or a Brazilian. “What’s the difference?’ I asked. Ah, the Brazilian treats both front and back, while the regular bikini wax is just the front. Honestly, I was confused about what actually needed removing in the back. “Let’s give me something to look forward to,” I said and chose the basic bikini. Then there are different styles to choose from. “What’s the most popular?” I asked, feeling like an idiot. Apparently the “landing strip” is a customer fave, so I went with that.
2. It was f*cking painful. As I lay back on the table with my knees open, the warm wax actually felt cozy and comforting—at first. But when Jessica ripped it off, it was as if a hoard of fire ants had dug into my pores only to be jettisoned with the violence of an acid jalapeño lava bomb. I squealed like a piglet. “Spicy” indeed! Thank God it was over in just a few minutes.
3. It’s supposed to get better. Jessica assured me that the first time is the worst and subsequent appointments would be easier, especially if I took better care of the tender area. She recommended I exfoliate regularly and handed me some samples of scrub. In that moment, I could not imagine ever rubbing my most sensitive spots with a gritty salve. But thinking it through, I think part of the pain was from my skin being ripped out along with the hair. So maybe I see her point?

The Waxing Results

1. It felt weird at first. My smooth and hairless state made me feel exposed and vulnerable. I missed having a little protective buffer zone there. But since then, I’ve grown used to the freedom of it, and three weeks later, it’s still neat and tidy.
2. My guy gave it a rave review. After my appointment, I returned home to a husband who was unusually attentive and curious. I was too shook to invite any contact just then, but I gave him a peek at my new ‘do, and he was delighted. My makeover had an interesting effect on him. Every time I entered the room he jumped to attention like a meerkat. I can only describe his attitude toward me on vacation as very, very appreciative. So there’s that.
3. Worth another go. I hadn’t considered making waxing a regular part of my regime but I’m going to give it another try. Not only is my husband is a huge fan, I like the easy, breezy feeling of it myself. I guess, after 35 years of marriage, coming up with new material in the intimacy department requires some effort. Fingers crossed it will be less painful. Now where is that exfoliation cream?

Still a NO

I’m glad I gave the bikini wax a try at this age, even though I swore I never would again. It’s good to have an open mind. But I promise I’ll never, ever wear the latest trendy undergarment, pictured below. It’s a Skims brand string thong with faux hair for women who want to add volume, not subtract. I still think thongs are torturously uncomfortable, and this garment is absurd!

But I couldn’t wear it even if I wanted to. It was so popular, it completely sold out.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on waxing!