Living close to my mom has given our relationship a boost, simply by having lunch once a week.
In the summer I live in Chicago—1,300 miles from my mother and her husband’s home in Fort Myers, Florida. But I spend the winter in nearby Bonita Springs. I haven’t lived in the same state as my mother since graduating from college in 1984, so this is new to us. Definitely, one of the best parts of being in Florida is that I have regular lunches with my mom.
All those years living far apart meant seeing each other was a big deal. We had to travel by plane, which couldn’t happen all that often. Trying to balance the trips with kids, dogs, work and school schedules—all while entertaining—could get stressful. Now, it’s such a luxury to spend time with my mom frequently and casually. It definitely brings us closer.
For me, having lunch is a delightful way to socialize. I’m at my hungriest at lunchtime, so going to a restaurant mid-day is a welcome treat. Sitting at a table is intimate, and allows us to really focus on one another. But lunch doesn’t take too long, and the time constraint adds a liveliness to the meet-up and keeps the conversation fresh. We’re both in the middle of our day, catching each other at our most energized, involved time. There are lots of mundane details to explore—what did you buy at Costco, what are you reading for your book club, how’s your eye infection? These are the things 1) I really want to know and 2) make me more involved in your life. No sweeping, tedious, summaries required. Let’s get into the humdrum happenings (I lost half a toenail) and get closer!
My mom and I try to have lunch once a week, but honestly, she’s so busy, it’s hard to get on her schedule. Sometimes we have lunch and do other things too—like run errands, go shopping, or (our favorite) take a walk on one of Sanibel’s beaches. Our time together is low-key, easy, flexible and fun. I love it.
This Friday my adult kids, Nick and Emma, arrive for the holidays. Without a doubt, I’m taking them to lunch.
Fully Fabulous 